I ran again today. I've been running a lot. Since the tears seem stuck I've been sweating them out of my body daily on an elliptical machine at the local gym. Pools of them.
And today I closed my dry eyes as I grasped the heart monitors praying it would detect more than just a cardio rhythm. And I heard these lyrics through my ipod buds and something about them had a essence of life that was surprisingly more moving than the music that carried them.
I want to see miracles, see the world changeI had to fight my hands from flying high, not so much for looking the part of a fool, but afraid that they would find nothing to grasp.
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me
But tonight in the quiet stillness my resistance is gone and I'm shaking and sobbing with abandon.
And I'm not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago.I don't want to say this too loud, as I don't want to create any false expectations for myself or others. I may deny it tomorrow, refuse to discuss it with you, and not even post your comments about it on this blog... yet I want to whisper it now while I still have the faith:
And He's raising the dead in me.
"i have hope."
I want to be one today
Centered and true
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
You're raising the dead in me...