Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Wind-blown Lyrics

I ran again today. I've been running a lot. Since the tears seem stuck I've been sweating them out of my body daily on an elliptical machine at the local gym. Pools of them.

And today I closed my dry eyes as I grasped the heart monitors praying it would detect more than just a cardio rhythm. And I heard these lyrics through my ipod buds and something about them had a essence of life that was surprisingly more moving than the music that carried them.

I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me
I had to fight my hands from flying high, not so much for looking the part of a fool, but afraid that they would find nothing to grasp.

But tonight in the quiet stillness my resistance is gone and I'm shaking and sobbing with abandon.
And I'm not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago.
And He's raising the dead in me.
I don't want to say this too loud, as I don't want to create any false expectations for myself or others. I may deny it tomorrow, refuse to discuss it with you, and not even post your comments about it on this blog... yet I want to whisper it now while I still have the faith:

"i have hope."
I want to be one today
Centered and true
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
You're raising the dead in me...