I’ve asked a friend, who is a counselor, to start seeing me. Again, it is a good step, and one that my doctor asked me to follow up on.
The doctor also comes from a religious background and has served on several church boards. He was aghast at how I was treated when I was let go from my church, especially perturbed that it was never brought up to the congregation. I hadn’t seen my doctor get angry before, but it was right there behind his eyes.
It felt nice to be listened to, to be understood.
His prescription wasn’t just medication, he suggested that there needs to be some healthy confrontation with the church staff on this matter. I know this to be the case and started wondering why I haven’t pursued the matter before now. I think I expected others to do this for me and have been disappointed when they didn’t. I don’t have much to lose anymore, but they still do. I can understand their hesitation, even if they know what happened was wrong.
This is the first time that I’ve felt a glimpse of hope about letting others off the hook for not protecting me. It is still hard, but it feels healthy.
Speaking of feeling understood, a friends sent me this quote from Pastor David Roper
Unfathomable sorrow lies beneath the rage and retaliation of those who are victims of our prejudice, for the source of all anger is frustration and the greatest frustration is to be dishonored and debased. Every human being is created in the image of God—more like God than any other creature—a holy icon, if you will, worthy of high honor, indeed admiration and awe. To demean that image and deface it is to wound another human being at the deepest level.
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